Dating advice for women has changed drastically in the last decade. Women used to bend over backward to please a potential suitor; then they would lose them as time wore on. “I never seem to get past the first few months. What am I doing wrong?” Sound familiar? It may be that your intentions are good, but youre trying too hard. Ive put together some sound dating advice for women in order to avoid this and make things go more smoothly.
Talk to Avoid
Dont talk about your last boyfriend, fiancé or husband on the first few dates. Men immediately think one of two things if you talk about your ex during a date. Either youre still hung up on him, or youre bitter and angry about being dumped. A guy doesnt like either of these options, and hell take a pass on someone with that kind of emotional baggage.
For a single woman, dating advice should probably be more complex than that, but really it all boils down to those two words: “Be yourself.” Dont pull out all the stops being a sex kitten siren if thats not you. Forget playing the girl next door to catch his interest if you arent that type. Youll only get yourself stuck in a role that will increasingly frustrate you, and eventually hell see through the charade and be offended by your dishonesty.
Dont Trap Him
Even if you sense that hes got great potential early on, dont start talking about your future dreams of marriage and family right away. The most often overlooked dating advice for women is usually the most crucial men take things slower. They dont want to be considered as a potential life partner after date number two. Theyll feel trapped, and like all trapped animals, they will run or go on the defensive.
Youd be surprised how often men complain that women cant take a compliment properly. If he tells you that you look wonderful, a simple, “Thank you,” is the right response. Dont cut yourself down or accuse him of, “Just saying that.” You also shouldnt go into details about how you borrowed the dress from a friend because it was so expensive youd never dream of buying it yourself, blah, blah, blah. If he says you look lovely in the dress, acknowledge the compliment and move on. He really doesnt want the details of how or why you look great but he will appreciate being thanked for noticing that you do. Accepting a compliment means you are self-confident and comfortable with yourself.
Be on Time
This is great dating advice for women and men. Whether youre meeting a man someplace or hes picking you up, its not polite or thoughtful to leave him cooling his heels and no, and it doesnt build anticipation. It just makes you seem rude.
Express Your Opinions Honestly
Men quickly get bored with women who always agree with everything they say. Sure, it may be flattering to the ego for a bit, but that soon fades to boredom and/or irritation when they realize they cant sustain an intelligent conversation with you. Its also draining personally to keep up that kind of charade what are you going to do a year from now? Stand firm on issues that are important to you, discuss events honestly but dont get into an argument just to prove youre right. Disagreeing on some things is what adds spice to a relationship as long as the disagreements arent moral or life-changing.
Dont be a Pest
It may sound like old-fashioned dating advice for women, but I believe it still holds true men like to know theyre interesting, but they dont want to be nagged into dating you. Can you call a man a few days after a date and thank him for a nice evening and chat? Sure! But dont call the next day, then the next, then the next. Leave one message if hes interested, hell call you back. It may take a few days (he could be busy, he could be nervous). If he isnt interested, increasingly desperate, repeated messages from you wont help your cause.
You are on a date, not at a therapy session. Spilling your guts about how much your mother drives you crazy and why you want to kill your boss will not endear you to a man who had hopes of enjoying a relaxing evening with you. Should you hope that a relationship includes friendship? Yes! But dont treat a man youve recently started dating like your old college roommate or priest. True confessions arent good for the soul or the relationship too early on, and lots of complaining gives the impression you may never be happy with your life.
Dating advice for women could go on for pages, but the eight major rules above will cover almost every situation. Whether its your first date or your tenth, its all about being true to yourself, honest with him and kind to both of you.
About the Author: Kevin Urban is the editor at Dating-Site-Advisor.com, the single woman’s guide to the best online dating sites. He offers dating advice for younger women and reviews the top matchmaking dating services on the Internet.