Dating advice for women has changed drastically in the last decade. Women used to bend over backward to please a potential suitor; then they would lose them as time wore on. “I never seem to get past the first few months. What am I doing wrong?” Sound familiar? It may be that your intentions are good, but youíre trying too hard. Iíve put together some sound dating advice for women in order to avoid this and make things go more smoothly.
Talk to Avoid
Donít talk about your last boyfriend, fiancť or husband on the first few dates. Men immediately think one of two things if you talk about your ex during a date. Either youíre still hung up on him, or youíre bitter and angry about being dumped. A guy doesnít like either of these options, and heíll take a pass on someone with that kind of emotional baggage.
For a single woman, dating advice should probably be more complex than that, but really it all boils down to those two words: “Be yourself.” Donít pull out all the stops being a sex kitten siren if thatís not you. Forget playing the girl next door to catch his interest if you arenít that type. Youíll only get yourself stuck in a role that will increasingly frustrate you, and eventually heíll see through the charade and be offended by your dishonesty.
Donít Trap Him
Even if you sense that heís got great potential early on, donít start talking about your future dreams of marriage and family right away. The most often overlooked dating advice for women is usually the most crucial Ė men take things slower. They donít want to be considered as a potential life partner after date number two. Theyíll feel trapped, and like all trapped animals, they will run or go on the defensive.
Youíd be surprised how often men complain that women canít take a compliment properly. If he tells you that you look wonderful, a simple, “Thank you,” is the right response. Donít cut yourself down or accuse him of, “Just saying that.” You also shouldnít go into details about how you borrowed the dress from a friend because it was so expensive youíd never dream of buying it yourself, blah, blah, blah. If he says you look lovely in the dress, acknowledge the compliment and move on. He really doesnít want the details of how or why you look great Ė but he will appreciate being thanked for noticing that you do. Accepting a compliment means you are self-confident and comfortable with yourself.
Be on Time
This is great dating advice for women and men. Whether youíre meeting a man someplace or heís picking you up, itís not polite or thoughtful to leave him cooling his heels Ė and no, and it doesnít build anticipation. It just makes you seem rude.
Express Your Opinions Honestly
Men quickly get bored with women who always agree with everything they say. Sure, it may be flattering to the ego for a bit, but that soon fades to boredom and/or irritation when they realize they canít sustain an intelligent conversation with you. Itís also draining personally to keep up that kind of charade Ė what are you going to do a year from now? Stand firm on issues that are important to you, discuss events honestly but donít get into an argument just to prove youíre right. Disagreeing on some things is what adds spice to a relationship Ė as long as the disagreements arenít moral or life-changing.
Donít be a Pest
It may sound like old-fashioned dating advice for women, but I believe it still holds true Ė men like to know theyíre interesting, but they donít want to be nagged into dating you. Can you call a man a few days after a date and thank him for a nice evening and chat? Sure! But donít call the next day, then the next, then the next. Leave one message Ė if heís interested, heíll call you back. It may take a few days (he could be busy, he could be nervous). If he isnít interested, increasingly desperate, repeated messages from you wonít help your cause.
You are on a date, not at a therapy session. Spilling your guts about how much your mother drives you crazy and why you want to kill your boss will not endear you to a man who had hopes of enjoying a relaxing evening with you. Should you hope that a relationship includes friendship? Yes! But donít treat a man youíve recently started dating like your old college roommate or priest. True confessions arenít good for the soul or the relationship too early on, and lots of complaining gives the impression you may never be happy with your life.
Dating advice for women could go on for pages, but the eight major rules above will cover almost every situation. Whether itís your first date or your tenth, itís all about being true to yourself, honest with him and kind to both of you.
About the Author: Kevin Urban is the editor at Dating-Site-Advisor.com, the single woman’s guide to the best online dating sites. He offers dating advice for younger women and reviews the top matchmaking dating services on the Internet.